Joey had his first dentist appointment this morning. I woke him up, gave him his "coffee" (milk with just enough decaf to make it beige), and told him we were going to a doctor who was just going to open his mouth and feel his teeth. Joey happily agreed and talked about the "dennish" the whole way there, and practiced opening his mouth.
We got there early so Joey could play, er, throw toys all around the room and grab my pen, and I could fill out 20 minutes' worth of paperwork (with squiggly lines all over it thanks to Joey). He went potty on the toilet ("yes, just like the toilet we have at home they have one here too") and then I sat him on The Chair.
I had told Joey about The Chair but had forgotten to mention the size and shape. The Chair was NOT a chair to Joey, and he wanted down, until the hygienist pumped it up so he couldn't escape. He proceeded to take revenge for The Chair by breaking the button on the rinse bowl, which I had to fix surreptitiously while the hygienist had her head turned. He grabbed the little tooth mirror off the tray and banged it against his teeth, stuck said mirror into the rinse bowl and then put the mirror back into his mouth, kicked, refused to open his mouth, and wouldn't look at the hygienist.
Mrs. Hygienist gave up after about two minutes of this hell and called in The Dentist. If you've ever seen Office Space, you know the guy I'm talking about. The guy who says "Yeah, I'm gonna need you to file that TPS report, mmmmmkaaaay? Did you get the memo?". Yeah, that guy is our dentist. He spent less than thirty seconds trying to get Joey's mouth open ("Yeah, I'm gonna need you to open your mouth now, mmmmmkaaaaay?") and then kicked Joey out of the office. He said to me, "Yeah, we try to keep it positive, so I'm not going to fight to get his mouth open, mmmmkaaaaay? We try to keep this a positive experience, I'm gonna need you to go to Dr. T. over in _____________ 45 minutes away in horrible traffic, it will probably rain, and good luck finding it because I can't remember the address." Ok, maybe he left out the part about the weather and traffic, but I knew what he meant when he said ______ Boulevard.
He repeated this nonsense about Dr. T. four more times in true Office Space style. The receptionist was kind enough to call Dr. T. and make me an appointment since I don't know the address, phone number, or full name of Dr. T. The hygienist let Joey pick out a toy (thanks for reinforcing his love of breaking expensive things, Mrs. Hygienist) and we pretty much ran out of there as fast as we could.
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Remarks on Loving an adopted child From Oct. 2nd 2012
In response to multiple posts I have read on "love not being enough" or "if only love were enough" for adopted kids:
Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not jealous or boastful. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 1 Corinthians 4-8
If you believe these things and truly LOVE your kid(s), the rest really will fall into place. Why?
Because you will have the patience to answer the hard questions. You will be kind to those who don't understand your situation. You won't be jealous when the child(ren) want to contact their birth families or make hurtful statements about wishing they were with another family. You will not let pride get in the way. You will not dishonor the birth family. You will not be selfish or angry when the birth family requests contact. You will not keep tally when your child misbehaves or claim that your adopted child "owes you". You will protect your child, trust their judgement, hope for only the best for them, and persevere when they try to push you away. You will never fail them, no matter who predicts otherwise. And no matter who thinks they know what's best for your child, you will do what is truly best for them.
How, in this way, can love not be enough?
Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not jealous or boastful. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 1 Corinthians 4-8
If you believe these things and truly LOVE your kid(s), the rest really will fall into place. Why?
Because you will have the patience to answer the hard questions. You will be kind to those who don't understand your situation. You won't be jealous when the child(ren) want to contact their birth families or make hurtful statements about wishing they were with another family. You will not let pride get in the way. You will not dishonor the birth family. You will not be selfish or angry when the birth family requests contact. You will not keep tally when your child misbehaves or claim that your adopted child "owes you". You will protect your child, trust their judgement, hope for only the best for them, and persevere when they try to push you away. You will never fail them, no matter who predicts otherwise. And no matter who thinks they know what's best for your child, you will do what is truly best for them.
How, in this way, can love not be enough?
Preliminary Post
It is highly advisable that you read this post before going on to read the rest of my blog.
The following stories are not to brag about, to demean, or to humiliate my child. This is simply the documenting of a new mom who wishes to always remember the First Five Years. My memory is like swiss cheese, and so, in an effort to never forget these first sweet years with my first baby, I have chosen to chronicle the day-to-day goings-on, the mundane, and the hysterical happenings in my household. Consider this a journal--you lucky few who find this blog buried in the innermost recesses of the interwebs will get an inside peek at the life of an adoptive mom. This is truly a unique and rare thing to find. I pledge to be as honest as apple pie--scouts' honor!
These stories began on my Facebook page (see shameless plug for my fan page here: https://www.facebook.com/rachaelannsnead ) and so many people find them entertaining, and the statuses can become so long sometimes, that I have decided to put them into a blog instead. The first few stories will be carried over from my Facebook page and I shall date them accordingly to avoid confusion.
Full Disclosure: My son (I shall call him Joey here) was born three years ago and adopted at birth. Please do not ask for details, all I will say is we will be eternally grateful to biomom for choosing to bless our family with a child.
You are now ready to read the next post. Enjoy!
The following stories are not to brag about, to demean, or to humiliate my child. This is simply the documenting of a new mom who wishes to always remember the First Five Years. My memory is like swiss cheese, and so, in an effort to never forget these first sweet years with my first baby, I have chosen to chronicle the day-to-day goings-on, the mundane, and the hysterical happenings in my household. Consider this a journal--you lucky few who find this blog buried in the innermost recesses of the interwebs will get an inside peek at the life of an adoptive mom. This is truly a unique and rare thing to find. I pledge to be as honest as apple pie--scouts' honor!
These stories began on my Facebook page (see shameless plug for my fan page here: https://www.facebook.com/rachaelannsnead ) and so many people find them entertaining, and the statuses can become so long sometimes, that I have decided to put them into a blog instead. The first few stories will be carried over from my Facebook page and I shall date them accordingly to avoid confusion.
Full Disclosure: My son (I shall call him Joey here) was born three years ago and adopted at birth. Please do not ask for details, all I will say is we will be eternally grateful to biomom for choosing to bless our family with a child.
You are now ready to read the next post. Enjoy!
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